Counselling

What is counselling?

Counselling is a form of talking therapy in which a trained professional provides a safe, confidential space for you to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The aim is not to give advice or tell you what to do, but to help you understand yourself better and find your own way forward.

Counselling is typically shorter-term than psychotherapy - often between 6 and 20 sessions - and tends to focus on specific issues you are dealing with right now, rather than deep exploration of your past.

Main counselling approaches

Person-centred counselling

Developed by Carl Rogers in the 1950s, person-centred counselling (sometimes called Rogerian or humanistic counselling) is one of the most widely practised approaches in the UK. It is based on three core conditions:

• Unconditional positive regard - the counsellor accepts you without judgement
• Empathy - the counsellor tries to understand your experience from your perspective
• Congruence - the counsellor is genuine and authentic in the relationship

Person-centred counselling is non-directive - the counsellor does not set an agenda or tell you what to work on. You lead the conversation, and the counsellor follows.

For neurodivergent people, this approach can feel freeing. There is no pressure to perform, to complete homework, or to “think differently.” The focus is entirely on your experience.

However, some neurodivergent people find non-directive counselling frustrating. If you process things better with structure, prompts, or explicit guidance, this approach may feel too open-ended.

Integrative counselling

Many counsellors in the UK describe themselves as “integrative,” meaning they draw on multiple approaches depending on what the client needs. An integrative counsellor might combine person-centred principles with elements of CBT, psychodynamic thinking, or mindfulness.

This flexibility can be an advantage for neurodivergent clients, as the counsellor can adapt their approach based on what works for you.

Existential counselling

Existential counselling focuses on the big questions - meaning, freedom, isolation, mortality, identity. It can be helpful for neurodivergent people who are grappling with existential themes that often follow a late diagnosis: “Who am I really?” “How much of my life has been masking?” “What do I actually want?”

Counselling and neurodivergence

Counselling can be a good fit for neurodivergent people, particularly when the counsellor understands neurodivergence and is willing to adapt their approach.

What works well

• The emphasis on acceptance and non-judgement aligns with neurodiversity-affirming values
• The flexibility of person-centred and integrative approaches allows the counsellor to follow your lead
• Counselling can help with processing grief, loss, and identity shifts that often accompany late diagnosis
• It can provide space to explore experiences like masking, burnout, and shame in a supportive environment

Potential challenges

• Non-directive approaches may feel confusing for people who need more structure
• Counsellors who do not understand neurodivergence may misinterpret your communication style, emotional expression, or body language
• Short-term counselling (such as NHS Talking Therapies) may not be long enough to address deep-seated issues related to years of masking or missed diagnosis
• Some neurodivergent people find it difficult to identify or articulate their feelings in real time - this is common and is not a reason to avoid counselling, but it is worth discussing with your counsellor

What to expect in counselling

Before you start

Most counsellors offer an initial assessment session (sometimes free) where you can discuss what you are looking for, ask questions, and see if the fit feels right. This is your opportunity to ask about their experience with neurodivergent clients and how they would adapt their approach.

During sessions

A typical counselling session lasts 50 minutes. The counsellor may ask open-ended questions, reflect back what you have said, or sit with you in silence while you process. The content is led by you.

Between sessions

Unlike CBT or DBT, most counselling approaches do not involve homework. However, the process of counselling often continues outside the room - you may find yourself reflecting on things that came up, or noticing patterns in your daily life.

Ending therapy

Counselling usually has an agreed number of sessions or a review point. Ending therapy can feel difficult, particularly if the therapeutic relationship has been meaningful. A good counsellor will give you time to prepare for the ending.

Finding a counsellor

In the UK, counsellors are not required by law to be registered with a professional body, but it is strongly recommended to choose someone who is. Look for:

• BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) - the largest professional body for counsellors in the UK
• NCS (National Counselling Society)
• COSCA (Counselling and Psychotherapy in Scotland)

Many directories allow you to filter by specialism. Search for terms like “neurodivergence,” “ADHD,” “autism,” or “neurodiversity-affirming.”

Further reading on neurobetter

• Counselling and therapy - overview
• Psychotherapy
• CBT
• Late diagnosis
• Masking
• Burnout

neurobetter services

• Local services directory - find counsellors near you
• Ask a Counsellor - get a confidential response from a registered counsellor